Tag Archives: Society

Ten. Again. Nothing. Again.

“Why do you drive yourself nuts over all this gloom and doom violence and murder? It is what it is, no matter what you think or say.”

Can’t accept it, can’t buckle under, can’t go numb. My hot buttons revolve around our kids and their future. Bullying, mass murders, apathy, stress, suicide…they deserve better, don’t you think? If I can nudge the needle just a little, I have to try. Move the needle, make a difference. The first step is awareness…help enough people understand and maybe care. A movement requires grass roots, a critical mass. We’re out there, somewhere.

All this nobody can do is drop my little pebbles into this one pond, and hope the ripples reach others. Even if I never know the effects I have to believe I’m making some kind of difference. How about you?

******

(real time) Oh great, another school shooting. I guess another rant is due. A broken record, but can’t get numb. Just had a school break, home long enough to find out about the Santa Fe, TX shooting. Ten more and counting. This time, the weapons of choice were a shotgun and handgun. IED’s too but none set off. Like the shooter was consciously trying to make a second amendment statement.

OK, maybe not by intent but that’s what is happening….”see, NOT an AR. And it’s not guns. It’s people”. Book it. And stay tuned for another lightning round of thoughts, prayers and outrage–an emotional gusher for an appropriate time then…. nothing. Again. (Update: not even two weeks later…this “event” came and went in a huge hurry. Numb)

After break, my classroom will be filling up again with 6th graders, and I can only hope that for now they are blissfully ignorant that more kids have been gunned down. It won’t ever happen here…will it?

Oh, but it could.  The kids in Santa Fe probably thought “never here”. They participated in the last protest.

I know myself well enough that I expect to have a hard time keeping it together every time I look at all the faces, kids I’ve watched get older for several years. What if….?

We’re in a science classroom. A big aquarium with a couple of painted water turtles is 3 feet away. One of them was on their rock sunning, and got startled…thumpity thump, splash. I’m on edge, I jumped. This sucks. If you haven’t been in a classroom lately, if you haven’t been painfully aware of the “what ifs” you can have no idea how this feels. I’m not a badass but I do know how I’d react if some nutjob tried to come after my kids. I think about it every day, first thing in the room it’s recon time, get the plan in place….this sucks.

Do something! Someone please….we all deserve, we all need better.

It won’t kill me to say it…it is NOT just guns, and gun control is not “the” solution—that’s just a band aid, but it’s one we need now. There, I said it OK?! It’s more than laws, policies, regulations. We cannot legislate values and ethics. We CAN use a little common sense to keep the wrong stuff out of the wrong hands. What is so stinking radical about that?

The highest priority is for long-term systemic preventive action, a resolution of this inhuman funk we’re in, starting very young in school and extending into the workplace and community, solidified in the family.

The most shocking issues: mass murders, gun violence especially in schools., followed by youth suicides. But also harassment, abuse, bullying; bias, bigotry, intolerance, hatred, polarization….HOW can we re-boot society’s ethical, values-based respect for each other and for human life?  What can we do to rediscover our humanity? It used to mean something to be an American. Now, we’re the worst of the worst.

We’re not having the right conversations, not exploring lasting solutions. We’re focused on using band-aids to fix things. Typical isn’t it? Is it because the social-emotional issues are too overwhelming? Still. ignoring the real issues is not the appropriate course of action. We need to get started. Somewhere, somehow. No other mission is more critical. And it should be simple, really….

Understand true root cause(s) -> Identify feasible interventions > Implement > Make systemic, coordinated improvements

Hold my beer, right?

People in Peril:  Excerpts from Mojo (itals)

It’s depressing but necessary to call attention to our human shortcomings. They are collectively overwhelming–we’re a mess. But we must more fully understand them. The issues have common roots; they’re one giant Gordian knot. So if we wield the right sword with the right concentrated effort we can slice the knot into pieces. Focus and effort…that’s “all” we need.

Our social, moral, ethical fabric is being torn to shreds, society is imploding. We’ve disconnected from our selves, each other, our environment, our basic human values. We’ve lost our humanity. We’re emotionally confused, socially isolated, ethically directionless. There’s apathy and disengagement at one extreme, and over-engagement, stress and burnout at the other. Both lead to physical health issues and emotional and social baggage. We desperately need realignment and emotional healing.

We need a visionary and ethical compass, we need compassion, we need to be part of a community that cares. But we don’t know where we’re going, and no one seems to have the ability to collectively get us back on track. Identity, community, principles and values, purpose and meaning are among the most powerful universal human drivers, right up there with love, compassion, the need to contribute to something meaningful. We’ve lost touch with those things, which has a lot to do with why society is self-destructing.

Our kids are in trouble, they’re killing themselves and each other…. The same transient blip of caring, same outpouring of thoughts and prayers magically appear every time we have yet another mass murder at a school, every time another child hurts badly enough to take their own life. But they go away. Until next time.

Out of control depression, anxiety, stress impacting kids, teens and adults alike. Death by Lifestyle. Killing ourselves and each other, both slowly and traumatically. It’s even visible….On your next trip to the store do a little people-watching. You’ll see good people soured on life, hopelessness and pain in their eyes or worse, nothing. Spirit drained, their demeanor screaming “I’m tired of this life!” Forgotten dreams, no purpose, no meaning, no fulfillment? Still, we keep isolating our Selves further from others and from being human, starting with how we raise and “teach” children into adulthood, and  the nature of work, the meaning of “success”. We’re in a constant struggle with our core human values, we’re denying our humanness. We self-inflict pain and do irreversible harm to others too. We floor it, stretching to hit 130mph in a broken down Yugo. And we wonder why we’re stressed out, miserable, killing our Selves physically and emotionally.

We’re unknowingly coerced into recklessly pursuing more and more “things” at any cost, while we juggle the demands of an endless list of urgent to-do’s. We’ve forgotten what it means to be human, paying a high price. When values and norms die problems crop up—unethical / illegal behavior, a myriad list of significant social issues, rudeness and other variations of treating each other like crap.

How did we get to such a dark, scary place?

Plenty of reasons, just a couple of starter thoughts….To me, a really big culprit is conspicuous consumption driven by capitalism without conscience. We’re brainwashed to buy, buy, buy well beyond our “needs” and beyond our means. We’re driven by Wall Street’s slick, scientifically perfected marketing onslaught.

The long-standing expectation to make sure our kids have it better is also driven by Wall Street. We take on two, maybe three jobs to deliver the goods. If we don’t we’re failures. In doing so, we rob our kids of what they really need: nurturing and love, freedom to be kids without any strings attached. We load them up with activities > shuffle them off to caregivers so we can get out there and earn, earn, earn > buy, buy, buy.

Adults obsess over STEM, driving kids toward what may be their greatest potential for earnings, but with no regard for what their real life’s passion may be. They are destined to become the hollow stares in the store, terminally miserable, another generation fully engrossed with buy, buy, buy. Will the Circle Be Unbroken?

(More From Mojo)

We’ve Lost Our Humanity. Humans are by nature caring, compassionate, social / tribal. Bad behaviors are learned, and our toxic lifestyle and sick society are artificial creations; they are unnatural and incredibly destructive; Kids (big people too!) need to know they matter, that they make a difference in the world. People need purpose, vision, values and a community built on caring and compassion. Purpose, meaning, values, ethics cannot be legislated or otherwise mandated. All we can do is provide opportunities for discovery of Self.

Poor Information, Polarization. Deep ideological differences have polarized us. Misleading and dis-information have us paralyzed. Combine the two = rabid advocacy of issues / ideologies with positions supported by poor information. Who and what do you believe, who and what do you trust? No wonder we’re at each others’ throats.

So, where to start restoring our humanity? With young people? There’s plenty of rework to do with big kids too. Focus on kids in school, or adults in the workplace? The family unit? One community at a time? Society? Short answer….”Yes, all”. We’re in this together, we all need the same attention at the same time…ASAP.

What if?

I’ve been involved in developing a model of workplace prep for our future workforce, extending through working adults. Needed: systemic intervention, all of a community’s stakeholders playing an active role. “Real-world Prep School”…information is here:

(one) Real-world Prep…Vision or Delusion?

(two) Potholes to Repair—Intersection of Education and Workplace

More critical than “systemic intervention” is the need to focus on the right things: People First, then process. If you don’t take care of people issues you will never, ever, achieve maximum “thing” results. It’s been studied, measured, verified, validated: how well people are socially and emotionally adjusted directly impact results. S-E well-being even affects physical wellness, and not just a little.

Last consideration: there’s a difference between an in-charge authority figure demanding compliance to marching orders, and developing full commitment to vision, mission and goals. One works considerably better than the other—academically, in the workplace, personally, socially….guess which?

Here’s a radical sci-fi epiphany: what if the right values, goals and actions were shared community-wide among education, employers and organizations, community members and even (gasp!) politicians? What if an entire community focused its efforts, all stakeholders on the same page? Synergy, reciprocation, constant reinforcement would kick in. The broader the ownership and collaboration, the greater the sustainable impact becomes. With a big enough lever, we can move the world.


An earlier blog has been referenced a bunch here, as the theme has been with me for some time. Go here, read the whole thing and let me know what you think…. Searching For Our Mojo

While you’re at it, all this social-emotional stuff is well represented in something I’ve been deeply involved in for years, engagement theory. Emotional intelligence, mindfulness, social-emotional development in education, and engagement…they’re all pretty much the same thing, the same basic human motivators and values. We ought to be able to leverage the similarities.  See Engagement and Mojo—Peas and Carrots

 

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Been Slammed by Slam Poetry

I had the privilege of observing 7th grade students reading original “slam poetry” compositions. It’s not really poetry, more like free verse. I found out later the students had signed up for the elective class. Those who read their pieces hadn’t had the chance to develop the necessary  comfort zone to infuse the emotional punch of “real” slam poetry. But there was plenty of punch just the same.

From the first line into the first reader, for forty five minutes I alternated between teary eyes and goose bumps, mostly same time. I was hoping, desperately hoping, these were not first-person, fact-based accounts. Four girls (reminder, 7th graders!) were nailing THE top issues for their age. Maybe they were assigned their topics?  While the dramatic interpretation wasn’t quite there, they were too graphically and emotionally convincing in the details of what they shared. The four topics:

  • Step-parent sexual abuse, parental substance addiction;
  • A younger sibling bullied because of his impairment;
  • Frustration, hopelessness, cutting;
  • Dealing with the recent death of a best friend.

I’m almost glad there wasn’t more time, I was emotionally tapped out after just the first share. Those issues…even if these young people weren’t dealing with them personally, it was a gut-punch. These things are probably going on far too often for us to even grasp.

But later that day, I was told every one of the slams was true, actually experienced by the girls who shared them. I talked to the girl who had so vividly and poignantly described how she was sexually abused by her step-father and her addict mother did nothing. She was seven years old at the time. This is not the projects, it’s not a big city horror story. This is a quiet community of 15,000 in the heart of Iowa.

She gave me permission to run her story, without her name of course. I put in a few breaks to help the readability, and bolded those passages she really punched in her reading. That’s all I’ve done—no editing, no correcting. I didn’t dare. You can’t hear her emotion, you can’t see the raw feelings pour out of her face and body almost as if she was reliving what she endured. It tore me up.

************

My mommy was sick. Come to think of it she was always sick. She met another man today. He was nice she said. He was funny. He was good. That’s what you would see about him. But under the covers weren’t so warm. They weren’t so cozy like it looked. It was cold and wet like a murky swamp on an early autumn morning.

He had a beer in his hand so often I  thought it was stuck there.  when mommy wasn’t there, He would get closer and closer to me like a predator does when it hunts its prey. She’d be in the other room “sleeping”.  He looked at me like I was a fresh meat. He swooped in so fast it caught me by surprise. I didn’t know what was happening until it hit me. This nice guy wasn’t so nice but mommy needed him.

He touched me and violated my skin. I will never be untouched by the filthy hands of the monster. I will never feel safe in the arms of a man again. I will never get to feel the comfort a little girl should feel. I will never be able to cleanse my mind of the images the feelings I witnessed in my young once innocent eyes. I will never be able to notice the sunshine on a summer day I used to.

He did that to me. My mommy didn’t notice though because she was too passed out to give a crap! To understand that her baby girl is crying herself to sleep at night and the man she thought she loved was sexually abusing her every night and not even caring because she was busy having a good time being so high she couldn’t walk!

Hours she would spend napping on the couch. I would escape to my friends house whenever i could. At night i would cry myself to sleep trying to get rid of my thoughts that clawed at my brain. I would lie in conflict. Who could i talk to about my issue. That’s what it was right, an issue.  One big issue that no one seemed to notice because they were too high or drunk to care. When i was being tortured i would try to think of a better place to take me away from what was haunting me in this hell hole i called home.

But the thing is there was no better place. I would sit there muffling my sobs letting my body be used for the pleasure of a drunken man who had the power to kill me if tempted. No one will ever understand what I felt. No one can understand how i thought this was all my fault. You never will. But that’s ok. What you need to do is be aware of the pain that hides behind my glossy blue eyes. You need to be aware that i am not a normal girl who walks through life like it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Everyday i would dread going home on a saturday because i knew what would happen when i got home. It would be happy hour for him and pills for my mommy. My mommy said she loved me. She said she would die for me. I believed her. But I  realized that if she loved me so much she would be here to protect me. He told me he loved me like a daughter of his own. Why would anyone do such a thing to there daughter! I thought to myself.

Often times i would ask why he did this to me. I asked if all girls had this happen to them.  But my therapist said it was all ok. It stopped. He is gone now. But that was a lie. You’re telling me that he is in jail HE’S NOT!  You’re telling me that i don’t have nightmares anymore I DO! Your telling me that he still doesn’t want every dark corner of my room every crowded area. HE DOES!

You may not feel my pain or know my thoughts but you don’t need to taunt me about it. My mind is a maze of thoughts that swirl around chasing me until i can’t stand it! These thought in my mind are far beyond comprehension. Far beyond normal.   I never had many friends but that’s okay. I have the voices in my head to talk to. I am fine i would say and put on a smile like its ok that i’m being abused. I don’t want to hurt you with my pain so i keep it inside like a volcano that sits and waits and sits and waits and sits… Until i express my feeling that come out like a wildfire a spark turns into crazy flame uncontrollable twisting and turning my thoughts escaping my head, my body i can’t stop.

I think that i’m ok. I keep my thoughts to myself. He broke me. He broke my mind. My sense of safeness.

Loops

(this article is a high-level summary of an in-process pdf that is (will be!) linked here: Loops . Please take a look when it’s available and comment. Download the pdf if you’d like but if you share it please leave the  contact information intact so people can connect to discuss)

I’ve always been process-focused, a product of an environment in various private sector roles. Focus morphed over the past several years into education and whole-person human development. It was a natural progression to dive into systems thinking, especially causal chains, process interrelationships, reinforcing loops.

Senge took us on a loops deep dive in The Fifth Discipline, exploring all kinds of different archetypes. I was given a copy shortly after its release, and loved it. Systems purists and academics really glammed on to the whole “systems thinking” thing and the resulting gobble dee gook is, in my opinion, a huge roadblock to furthering systems awareness and everyday application.

Loops are closed causal chains: a sequence of events where one thing leads to another, “closed” because the chain eventually links back into itself. Per chaos theory, if you look out far enough any loop is closed. Closed loops are self-perpetuating, or reinforcing: they tighten and gain strength on their own. There are good loops, sometimes called virtuous circles, and there are bad loops-vicious cycles. Bad loops can be straightened out with awareness and action. Good loops can be leveraged and are usually a whole lot more fun!

My big take-away was, simplified here for mortals like me, loops. Add a few key points to go along with those loops. There’s a lot that needs to be learned and accomplished.

  1. People Needs—social-emotional development, well-being etc—rule the roost, validated by decades of study and data on engagement and impacts on academic and workplace performance data. Can’t optimize “doing things” results without first meeting people needs;
  2. Human development, personal satisfaction and maximizing performance are interrelated in one big, lifelong reinforcing loop;
  3. We’ve thrown a monkey wrench into things starting with the way we raise and educate our children, through our adult working lives. Self-imposed authoritarian systems and potential- limiting practices have drastically suboptimized our ability (our right!) to be all we can be.

Big deal, right? Yes it is. We’re causing our own mental and emotional challenges up to and including increased levels of stress, anxiety, depression, suicides even among middle school children. Declining social health and spikes in significant social problems: opioid addiction, violent crime including mass murders, and intense rudeness and insensitivity…terminal redneck behavior. It’s fair to say our social fabric is tattered and torn, locally and globally. Emotional well-being, physical health and economic effects of these problems are profound.

Fall 2017 Impacts Profundity Update

We’ve been on a roll. Nationalism, race supremacy…random and planned lone wolf attacks. Most aren’t terrorists on jihad. ISIS is not the only group radicalizing, recruiting, hating. Newtown still wipes me out. And the Vegas slaughter was a whopper. Where do these people come from? Are there no warning signs? Neighbors and relatives said the shooter and his girlfriend were quiet, normal, stuck to themselves. So…why? My opinion: it comes down to chronic disconnection, self-imposed solitude. We’re social creatures and we must reunite with our tribe, badly. But that’s just part of it…..

Late addition, fall 2017: the huge spike in allegations of sexual harassment (see “Kids Bully, Big Kids Harass”)

Is the species simply dumbing down? From Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness…

The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”

It’s not just poor education or inadequate preparation for the workplace or not becoming an acceptable member of society. Go back to #2 and #3. We’ve become skilled saboteurs of the loop of development > satisfaction > performance that would potentially ensure we realize our potential.

One major monkey wrench: compulsory education and command and control work environment–authoritarian practices, precision amputation of children’s and adults’ ability to think creatively, to freely explore the world around them, to develop and fully utilize their human capabilities. (see School and Work–One Big Prison System.) We’re posing a substantial threat to our selves and doing irreparable harm, making these issues high priority to address. It’s tough to see the subtle relationships behind these issues without a systems thinking view.

A Loopy Vision: make a positive impact on the greater good, improving social well-being through values-based and environmental interventions in all sectors of the general population: home, school, work, community. (1) Build a broad base of grassroots awareness, support and involvement to ensure  across-the-board, all stakeholder engagement. (2) Study, understand and leverage shared motivators, perceptions, attitudes and values that originate with basic human nature. And, (3) realize and leverage the existence of loops to formulate a systemic action plan.

This is nothing but incoherent babbling without first envisioning a systems and loops perspective.

The Greater Good Loop: closed loops connect me and others and connect employers, communities and society. If we are aware of the loops, we can consciously leverage them.

Do you buy into the notion that the Private Self and the Work Self are distinctly separate people? Sorry, it doesn’t even make sense. We’re not two people, we can’t somehow magically switch between them. We’re at work for the lion’s share of our adult lives, so it stands to reason that personal norms and belief systems are impacted by the work environment. And workplace influence does not exist just at work; it carries over to personal, home, social environments. To isolate them is to push any conflict under the surface, but only temporarily. What would really help things is if employers understood the systems relationships and took an interest in making sure there was no opportunity for conflict within its people.

Our work life helps shape our personal lives. A community’s social well-being certainly impacts the workplace, the sustainability of organizations that exist within a community. And a company’s success and results are driven by its internal culture, which is the collective influence of the individuals who work there. These are all two-way streets. Work, society and me: one big reinforcing loop. It may be a virtuous circle, may be a vicious cycle. One leads to prosperity, the other to failure.

https://onepondripples.wordpress.com/2014/10/12/virtuous-circles-aka-reinforcing-loops/

Organizational Loops: People Generate Profit (gasp!)

It’s human nature to search for a connection, to belong to something bigger than “me”. An employer is very probably the most influential force in peoples’ lives, just because of the amount of time we spend at work. Organizations and their leaders are capable of exerting significant influence not just on employees, but on the surrounding community through their employees.

Consider the potential of an organization with a strong values base and principles-centered, ethical leadership that helps people feel a sense of purpose, belonging and stability, people with something to care about. Think about the impact on social issues when employees have a strong sense of community, a purpose larger than “me”, a values-anchored island of safety and sanity in the midst of the turbulence around them.

Oh, the bottom line…a company with a winning sustainability strategy has values and principles-based organizational expectations for leaders and followers alike, and sets its sights on being a normalizing force in the community. Doing so beefs up the local talent pool, and the existing workforce is highly engaged. There is an encyclopedia full of studies that validate the direct relationship between level of engagement and performance.

Teaser: it should go without saying: community activism builds a strong democratic society. Later.

What About “Me” Loops?

My work environment and society both continuously shape me, that’s easy to buy. But the thought that it’s a two-way street is a bit tougher to embrace. You’re telling me my company and even society is impacted by me? Only when I mess up really bad! Truth: balanced, personally aligned individuals impact both the workplace and society. A culture and its norms are depend on people with strong values who, by intent or accidentally, impact others. So collectively, we enable culture to survive and thrive. DANGER: this could instead be a toxic culture. Both are self-sustaining, reinforcing loops.

Individual community members are the foundation of society, therefore culture. As the workplace influences people, employers have a direct and significant influence on community social well-being. Employer impact potential is much broader than an individual’s, impacting an entire region’s or even country’s ethical foundation, economic stability, way of life, quality of life. The collective influence of people undeniably shapes company culture. So no matter how insignificant an individual’s impact may seem, the reality is more than a bit humbling:

My values and integrity have direct influence on society’s norms!

There are three levels of proven payback from social-emotional well-being:

  1. Individuals: less stress and longer, healthier lives with greater personal satisfaction;
  2. Social problems: well-being in general is an amazing antidote and it’s preventive vs reactive;
  3. Companies and the economy overall: a highly engaged workforce is more productive. Oh, and that physical health thing…have you seen the cost impacts of health issues lately?

At least one of these are wildly important things for most of us. They should all be, because of the  Me > Community > Employer loop, but it goes deeper. A closer look…

Social Impact: the Greater Good

The main traditional socializing institutions where norms are established and reinforced—church, education, family—have all lost impact on influencing people. Social development and norming are not good to leave to natural evolution, but there is a huge void in the socializing process.

People need a sense of community, of belonging to something larger than they are. The workplace has a chance to reach people on a regular basis and people will gladly embrace what the workplace offers. But it’s the reciprocating nature of influence within our personal and our employer’s virtuous circle that is the scary proposition:  how can we as individuals and even a large, powerful company, expect to influence society? The real question:

How much are individuals and companies willing to commit to impacting society?

The potential is limitless but there are both risks and rewards. No company can survive long-term without a vibrant community. No community can exist without solid norms. Communities with staying power eventually become the building blocks of culture. Communities, even entire cultures, without a solid base are destined to crumble and fall. I take that back…what risks? A sure bet?

The workplace influences me, I influence my workplace and environment. The workplace and individual both impact social well-being. We need to better understand the interdependencies, whether we have earned calling them virtuous circles or reinforcing loops. Key components: engagement and well-being; satisfaction and contribution, (maybe explored later in greater depth in TWO: Loops and the Greater Good.)

Kids Bully, Big Kids Harass

Too many young people suffer irreversible long-term harm, some are even driven to suicide by pressures they can’t handle. Key triggers: education demands, bullying, growing up in a vacuum. Too many adults are in pain too, suffering from workplace pressures, harassment–a.k.a. big kid bullying, isolation, lack of purpose. Same basic pressures.

     Stress, anxiety, formally diagnosed mental / emotional illnesses, self-harm, suicide are all increasing across all ages. Hypothesis: we’ve forgotten the importance of treating each other and our selves like human beings, and as a result we’re killing ourselves and each other far too often. Harsh? Reality usually is.

Bullying is #1 on my Hit List. There’s no excuse for it, ever. And there’s no excuse for looking the other way, ever. When we get older we call bullying “harassment” because it’s more grown-up sounding. Big kids (“adults”) can be notoriously bad bullies with much the same kind of inexcusable behavior as their young counterparts. The bully is usually someone in a position of power throwing their weight around against a victim of lesser stature or position in the pecking order. Most school districts have zero tolerance policies for bullying, as do organizations. There is not much anti-bullying legislation for education, but employers and employees abide by federal and state laws on harassment and discrimination. Or, at least they’re supposed to.

Because it’s a factor in too many kids’ suicides and due to my involvement in education, young people and bullying is a personal passion. In the current social environment, we’ve just begun to look hard at big kid bullying too. It’s a systemic social issue, we cannot separate harassment from youth bullying.

Workplace bullying impacts well-being, level of engagement, health, productivity, retention / attrition rates and absenteeism, presenteeism (showing up but not really showing up). Some of those effects are harder to measure and assign hard value to, but they all directly affect the bottom line. Harder to measure but more significant is the social-emotional effects and related “soft” costs. And damage to adults is as devastating, lasting and the outcome can be as final as what is inflicted on young people. The worst case outcomes of either form of bullying: violence against others or self-harm including suicide.

If you’re paying attention you know it’s become an epidemic. We’re on our way to total numbness due to the sheer frequency. Reports of unacceptable big kid behavior have become every-day.  While some effects of workplace harassment are immediate and traumatic, others are subtle and take longer to surface. If generally “bad” behavior takes root, it will paralyze and finally choke a society to death. We’re gasping for air.


Update January 25, 2018: the Lid Blows Off

An Olympics team athletic doctor for hundreds of young girls (and now boys?)…many came forward, victims of this predator in power who abused under the guise of medical treatment. This is the most sobering manifestation of the same moral mess. How could this happen right under so many peoples’ noses?

If kids said something to parents or coaches it was to no avail. Decades of abuse, and no one had the balls to come forward against the predator or the institutions. This is a whole lot more damning than bullying and sexual harassment of adults. These are kids for cryin’ out loud, kids doing what they love, kids who put their trust in someone who should have / could have been a very important person in their lives.

Our youngest daughter was a multi-sport athlete and I was a coach for lots of girls’ teams. That was years ago, but ethics were pretty much the same. It was more unspoken: no one would even think about betraying the highest level of trust young people and their parents gave them. Not that I was aware of anyway….

When will the new revelations ever end? How could this happen? Did it happen way back when I was active, but I just wasn’t aware?


Fall 2017

High visibility accusations of harassment exploded in the US and abroad, especially against politicians, top execs, entertainers and other celebs. An entire state legislature (US) signed up for harassment training due to a “pervasive culture of sexual misconduct”. An early November report from the UK is just allegations so far, but there appears to be numerous apparently credible accusations throughout UK government. 

 

Organizations are standing in line for harassment training and vendors are salivating with $$$ signs in their eyes. Their target audience is the rich and the powerful.  Ka-ching—a very lucrative market indeed.

 Right Here in River City?

Majority Republicans in the Iowa legislature have posted a job opening for a Human Resources Director, six weeks after a $1.75 million sexual harassment settlement with a former senate staffer…The job posting seeks a director to “train managers to supervise employees in compliance with state and federal laws and applicable policies and procedures, including anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policies and procedures.”  (November 9, 2017)

Republican legislators own a clear majority in Iowa. The HR hiring move was openly billed as a partisan effort to counter a non-partisan problem. Stop throwing your damned weight around! Try a little democratic process for a change, starting with inclusion. This is political bullying, the alpha dogs peeing on the bush, and it sends a subtle message by design: this is a Republican-only initiative, our Dem peers are so morally bankrupt they’d only be in the way. One, exclusion doesn’t belong in democracy. It only strengthens polarization. Two, exclusion kills buy-in and commitment among those excluded, to the necessary systemic action.

The writing on the wall: “resolution” will surely involve mandatory training sessions. They will do next to nothing to change behaviors. They rarely do. Little will be accomplished except to generate some good political press. With all this heightened awareness it should still be a talking point come the midterm elections, maybe further: see what WE did, without THEIR help.

All that will be accomplished is attendance forms signed, boxes checked, asses covered.

I’ve taught social-emotional development / anti-bullying in schools, and harassment and diversity training in the workplace. Mostly a waste of time and pretty much everyone knew it. No teeth, required check-box CYA compliance stuff so the organization can say “we tried, now it’s all the bully’s fault. See the attendance form, they were here but they’re still jerks”.  No values systems impacted, no behavioral change beyond a wee little temporary smokescreen. Certainly no instant respect for others, no magical transformation of cretins into caring, compassionate people. You can’t legislate ethics, can’t demand decency and respect, can’t write and implement a zero tolerance policy. Can’t just write cool principles, must live by them. Stop the madness.

My cynicism is earned. I wrote “invitations” for HR-mandatory compliance training and I’ve seen the smirks on faces, the resentment and the non-results. Partly at fault: HR is perceived as an enforcement function, the compliance cops, the policy police. With our litigation-happy landscape, they’re forced into the protector role for the business and they’re buried in documentation and record-keeping requirements and the activities that produce those records. Most people don’t see HR as an advocate for employees. Their Job One: protect the company. There is still no champion to ensure people treat each other right, no real recourse if they don’t.

January 12 2018 River City Update

It’s been two months since the original announcement of intent to be “proactive” by Iowa’s Repub legislators. Iowa Senate Republicans on Friday released recommendations made to them to ensure a safe workplace at the Iowa Capitol. The report was commissioned after taxpayers covered a $1.75 million sexual harassment settlement against Senate Republicans in October 2017.

In her report, former Republican state senator Mary Kramer writes, “there is nothing that has changed to prevent additional inappropriate behavior and ensuing problems.” In her opinion, what’s needed is training for all, and a formal reporting and investigation process.

When all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail. In a past life, Ms. Kramer was in HR and she is now a retired legislator. Her intent is honest, based on her experience.  But I have a few issues with the observations and recommendations in her report.

(1) “…there is no one person accountable for the actions and behaviors…” (each person is responsible, with  reinforcement by peers who hold each other accountable to clear, specific behavioral expectations).

(2) “The first challenge is to make (the stated goal) a shared goal”. (Amen! But the report then recommends public articulation and mandatory training with written acknowledgement of training received. And there’s that partisan Reds-only thing)

(3) When all you have is a hammer, everything gets pounded into compliance. Policies and mandatory training are not the way to get to “shared vision”. Mandatory training and a process for reporting and investigation may ensure a little more compliance and fewer incidents. But no sustainable impact.

This should sound like a broken record by now…the solution is not to fix things with zero tolerance policies and a formal complaint > investigation > resolution process. Real preventive root cause action has very little to do with mandatory check-the-box training. What’s needed is broad commitment to building a community of compassion, a society that values caring, respect, dignity, treating people like people, agreeing that unacceptable treatment of others just isn’t tolerated, truly shared values that become social norms.

A tiny silver lining to the cloud: all this high-profile attention on harassment has triggered broad awareness and possibly support for broad-based action that’s more than lip service. We must become more aware of the deep social, emotional, physical and economic impacts of bullying, harassment, polarization, general incivility. And we must recruit a high-level coalition of celebs, executives, legislators to own a piece of and publicly champion the movement toward greater human respect and dignity for all.

“Sexual” harassment must be addressed as part of the bigger problem: intolerance and sub-human treatment of anyone who is “different than I am” whether it’s ethnicity, religion, nation of origin, people with physical, social-emotional, mental-intellectual challenges. Power is the culprit with formal, positioned power and informal power both subject to abuse. Positional power is a privilege that comes with great responsibilities. It does not include the right to wield that power indiscriminately or unethically. Yes, this is a leadership issue!

It’s nuts, humans suck. And most of us have gotten good and sick of it. It hasn’t magically increased overnight. High-profile harassment is the tip of the iceberg. What about everyday stuff and ordinary people? Bullying and harassment have been around forever, and others besides positioned and powerful men also display unacceptable behavior, expecting to get away with things just because of what they are, hiding behind faux armor, a self-perceived invincibility of power.

Harassers and bullies think they can get away with their crap. They always have. So why the current surge of high-profile allegations and no-longer afraid whistleblowers? As a whole we’re more aware, less tolerant, and victims feel safer coming forward regardless of who the perp may be. Whatever is behind it, it’s high time.

The root cause issue is abuse of power to exert control. Rape isn’t sexual, it’s about power and control. Harassment is a power trip too, different only in severity. It’s a sure bet that men harassing women is more widespread than what we hear about.

And here’s where I’ll probably get into trouble…don’t you suppose women in power positions harass men too? Being a man, it’s a little weird that men are subject to sexual harassment because…well, it just is. But I wonder when those accusations will start flying, and how seriously they’ll be taken?

But harassment is harassment, it’s equal opportunity. It knows no gender, ethnic, or any other bias. A bullying and harassment-free life should be equal opportunity too. Everyone has the right to go to work without fear for how they will be treated, everyone deserves a workplace where they feel respected and are shown the dignity and decency that every human being is entitled to. And young people deserve, and desperately need, a safe and fear-free learning environment where they are treated with dignity, they feel wanted, needed, and are able to excel.

“Zero tolerance for harassment at XYZ! You’ve been trained, you’ve been warned. Now, back to work and behave, or else”

Closing Thoughts

I bet there are plenty of sleepless cads out there right now, transgressors waiting for their accusers to come forward. It’s been a long time coming.

I like to think I mind my manners toward all people. I wouldn’t dream of doing anything inappropriate or harassing, sexual or otherwise. And there are plenty of men like me. Not all of us are drooling, leering cretins with only one thing on our mind that isn’t football or fishing. If good (even good old) boys see bad boys misbehaving, or hear the locker room talk and do nothing, we’re guilty too.

Why does it have to be sexual harassment before it’s wrong?

Why is the perp always a male?

Are all these allegations of unacceptable sexual behavior a signal of a bigger awakening?

I feel we need to more broadly define “bullying” and harassment. Maybe something like unwanted and inappropriate actions of one person toward another.  Period. Bullying and harassment is a gender-free power trip, pure and simple. Unethical or unscrupulous leverage of power is irresponsible, when used in harming or controlling others it is especially despicable and destructive.

Gender doesn’t matter. Neither does ethnicity or nationality or religion. Until we wholeheartedly adopt clear behavioral expectations for all people to respect all others at all times, there will always be harassment. It doesn’t matter how many harassers vehemently deny the accusations, how many are busted, fired or otherwise ostracized. It doesn’t matter how severe the punishment may be for violating laws, rules, regulations, policy. You cannot legislate social norms, values or principles, or ethical behavior. And reacting to a problem or unacceptable behavior does nothing to eliminate the problem, does nothing toward making sure unacceptable behaviors do not happen any more.

Manufacturing taught me a long time ago you can’t sort defects out; you must build quality in. It can be done, and to me the right path is focusing on the community level. More later on Caring Communities. Must bust out a little Aretha….

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T…tell you what it means to me”

What does “respect” mean to you?

See Searching For Our Mojo  for preliminary thoughts on problems and reflections on why I am so committed to making an impact on the human condition. Social Science Fiction (in process) is a thought incubator for preliminary thoughts on what community-level action may look like. Be warned–the bug is contagious. My mission: infect others.

Here is an overview and thumbs of the various posts: Main Mojo Roadmap. 

Searching for Our Mojo

This is part one of a series that’s not yet ready for prime time. With seventeen more in Florida gone, a pandemic of high-level harassment allegations already faded into old news, the steady drum beat of too-young people committing suicide (any age is tragic) and a general increase in social-emotional problems …it’s time, ready-or-not. Thumbnails here describe additional articles. There may be an occasional reference to something not yet available, so follow or check back. I’ll publish ASAP.

We have plenty of thing-related problems in this world, and plenty of opportunities to get involved. We can’t ignore homelessness, hunger and poverty, environment and conservation, class warfare, income inequality, runaway capitalism without conscience, immigration and the refugee crisis, the need for political reform and on and on. “Thing” issues must certainly be addressed and while I’m deeply concerned about them, social reform and social-emotional problems have the much-needed spotlight here. We can each impact people problems more than we can world hunger. And well-adjusted, more aware people are more likely to get involved and not allow those things to continue. The only logical priority order with a shot at sustainability, for a capitalist system: people > planet > profit. (ref. Michael Porter’s shared value / triple bottom line)

The Mojo series focuses on the 3-P front end:  human dynamics. Searching (here) frames the more significant human issues. Later we’ll look at what we may do to at least partially address the issues. Searching includes personal reflections and experiences that drive my commitment to impact the human condition. Maybe sharing my feelings may trigger similar powerful emotions in others, and commitment to take action. It is truly a survival issue to at least slow down this inside-out decay.

The Human Condition

It’s depressing but necessary to call attention to our human shortcomings. They are collectively overwhelming–we’re a mess. But we must more fully understand them. The issues have common roots; they’re one giant Gordian knot. So if we wield the right sword with the right concentrated effort we can slice the knot into pieces. Focus and effort…that’s “all” we need. OK, maybe that’s a little understated….

Here are my thoughts on the Short List of actionable pressing human issues. Add / comment, please!

  • General disregard for others, diminished appreciation of life, disrespect for the sanctity of others;
  • Bullying, which grows into harassment. Reference the outbreak of high-profile sexual allegations;
  • Skyrocketing stress, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, suicide even among the tragically young;
  • Open and deep hatred and bigotry, ___(insert-your-favorite-“o”)___ phobia, rabid nationalism;
  • Inability to have civil, well-informed discussion of emotionally charged topics. Due in part to…
  • Political, social, values-driven polarization leading to indecision, inaction, violence.

Our social, moral, ethical fabric is being torn to shreds, society is imploding. We’ve disconnected from our selves, each other, our environment, our basic human values. We’ve lost our humanity. We’re emotionally confused, socially isolated, ethically directionless. There’s apathy and disengagement at one extreme, and over-engagement, stress and burnout at the other. Both lead to physical health issues and emotional and social baggage. We desperately need personal realignment and emotional healing.

We’re teetering on the edge of self-destruction, in a full-tilt figure-8 demolition derby between (1) “thing” issues–nukes, climate change, famine, epidemics, environmental rape and pillage and (2) a terminal case of Lost Mojo—human dynamics issues. Some starter mojo must-do’s:

  1. Fully understand and embrace the importance of social-emotional well-being on achievement (getting stuff done) and personal satisfaction, and impacts on physical health and longevity;
  2. Reconnect with what it means to be human, on the “me” level and especially with others;
  3. Rediscover the lost art of mindful, meaningful interaction, of civilly working things out;
  4. Commit to a compelling shared vision and a mission with collective meaning;
  5. Leverage whole-person development to begin repairs on the deep damage to our mojo.

Here’s a radical sci-fi epiphany: what if the right values, goals and actions were shared community-wide among education, employers and organizations, community members and even (gasp!) politicians? If an entire community focused its efforts with all stakeholders on the same page, synergy, reciprocation, constant reinforcement would kick in. The broader the ownership and collaboration, the greater the sustainable impact. With a big enough lever, we can move the world.

Movement Starts With Me

Humans are naturally purpose-driven, always in search of a deeper meaning. Any movement, any group, needs an identity, or it’s just a bunch of people doing stuff with no direction, no meaning, no goals. We need a Mojo Movement, and we need more than a few Facebook groups. But what is our narrative—brand, identity? What is our sales pitch, our elevator speech? Movements have four essentials:

  1. A compelling vision of the desired future, and shared values to guide actions;
  2. An achievable mission with relevant and clear objectives;
  3. An Action Plan with specific ownership and accountability;
  4. Critical mass: an army of committed do-ers marching in unison under one banner.

Vision and Values are the glue that holds a movement together, only if they are SHARED and strong enough will they become the movement’s purpose and universally accepted behavioral norms. Mission and objectives help provide definition and direction. Action Plans provide much-needed accountability, milestones, to-do’s and the right metrics to assess real-time progress. The whole thing has to be compelling enough that people want to own a piece of it.

My personal WIIFM is strong, and I am driven to be part of making those four things a reality. We’re all in this together but It Starts With Me.

My WIIFM Evolution

I came of age in the Woodstock Generation–a magical time when we had lots of bona fide causes to embrace. I graduated from the University of Iowa, not a Columbia or a Berkeley but still a hotbed of awareness and activism. My degree was heavy on upper level humanities by design; it was the only way to avoid what I felt would be the ultimate indignity of stuffing a suit the rest of my life. The degree didn’t matter anyway, after graduating I was predestined to follow a road musician’s life.

But at the height of my music period, I lost a good friend and bandmate to narcotics addiction. I felt it wasn’t my place to meddle. Thirty years later I still carry the heavy weight of being an enabler. Things were pretty much on a downhill slide after that-my heart wasn’t in it any more. One day in 1987 I slammed headlong with finality into the rock & roll burn-out wall. Too Old! I got out gracefully, got married, instant family, instant responsibilities. Since there’s no better experience for dealing with people issues, I hit the private sector as a human behavior guru: engagement, motivation theory, interpersonal and group dynamics, etc. The highly creative, theoretical work suited me well. But while close relationships that came with my informal counselor role were high reward, they were high risk too. I lost a co-worker friend to depression-triggered suicide and survivor syndrome kicked my butt. Again. I had been an enabler. Again. It still hurts because I could have done more. Again. No more.

When I lost my job to a business reorg, as an ex-performer and facilitator of adult development and continuous improvement workshops, it was natural to go into teaching. I was immediately hooked on education improvement and alternative education, especially radical unschooling. The last few years my horizons have expanded into environmental, social and political battles and I connected with the new generation of activists. Kid in a candy store. It was clear something powerful was taking shape. The prodigal radical Big Thinker had wandered home. My first Big Thought was that we need to Think Big….

Vision, Purpose, Values, Community…Who Needs That Stuff?

What’s all the fuss about? Who needs it? We do! We need a visionary and ethical compass, we need compassion, we need to be part of a community that cares. But we don’t know where we’re going, and no one seems to have the ability to collectively get us back on track. Identity, community, principles and values, purpose and meaning are among the most powerful universal human drivers, right up there with love, compassion, the need to contribute to something meaningful. We’ve lost touch with those things, which has a lot to do with why society is self-destructing.

Ex white supremacist Christian Picciolini, author of ‘Romantic Violence: Memoirs of an American Skinhead’ notes that people are much more likely to join gangs or fringe groups when they have no other source of identity, community, meaning or purpose. Christian’s thoughts are echoes by an Iraqi friend, an anti-terrorism expert, who noted that when identity, purpose and values are lacking, ISIS can fill the empty spot, explaining why ISIS can be so appealing to disenfranchised youth.

Was it the same for people buying into Hitler’s delusion? Is the same thing in play for our current phobias and nationalism? I swore I wouldn’t get political. But if the shoe fits…

And yes, I’ve been told I run with a scary crowd. Ex skinheads, terrorism experts…and odd man out, me.

Too Close to Home

It’s been a long evolution. Along the way *poof* somehow I turned into a grandfather. And all my  concerns finally came to a head. Our kids are in trouble, they’re killing themselves and each other. A beautiful child in my home town took her own life, a short time later my grand daughter’s 7th grade classmate committed suicide. She was crushed, I had him in classes. Real-time thoughts on losing Sean:

I’ve written too many times already about youth suicide and bullying. It’s something I care deeply about, and I keep hoping to find a way to make an impact. But they’re always far away kids I didn’t really know. Far-off observers are sufficiently sad for an appropriate time, then we move on. I’ll admit that’s been me at times. You get numb.  Newtown has even gotten blurry and I swore I wouldn’t let that happen.

Young people’s emotional stability in our small community appeared to be in good shape. But I’ll be in a class room tomorrow where there will be one crushingly empty desk. Knowing why it’s empty is really gonna hurt. Suicide at any age is a terrible tragedy, but this young, this close to home is unbearable.

The same transient blip of caring, the same outpouring of thoughts and prayers magically appear every time we have yet another mass murder at a school. But they go away. Until next time.

My awareness hit a painful growth spurt. Out of control depression, anxiety, stress impacting kids, teens and adults alike. Death by Lifestyle. Killing ourselves and each other, both slowly and traumatically.

On your next trip to the store do a little people-watching. You’ll see good people soured on life, hopelessness and pain in their eyes or worse, nothing. Spirit drained, their demeanor screaming “I’m tired of this life!” Forgotten dreams, no purpose, no meaning, no fulfillment? Still, we keep isolating our Selves further from others and from being human, starting with how we raise and “teach” children into adulthood, and  the nature of work, the meaning of “success”. We’re in a constant struggle with our core human values, we’re denying our humanness. We self-inflict pain and do irreversible harm to others too. We floor it, stretching to hit 130mph in a broken down Yugo. And we wonder why we’re stressed out, miserable, killing our Selves physically and emotionally.

Along with this increased awareness of the human condition, my native heritage is coming to life again too. As inhuman as it is, we’ve disconnected from our Earth Mother. We rape and poison her without a thought, her tolerance has been stretched way beyond capacity by her children. We’re poisoning our only home and ourselves too.  Somehow, Mother hasn’t given up on her children….yet.

We’re doing things all wrong. But we can change. Or is this a koolaid buzz? I think not (hic).

I’m just a human being trying to make it in a world that is very rapidly losing its understanding of being human. John Trudell, Native American author, poet, actor, musician (RIP)

For Brielle (real-time reflection March 15, 2016, excerpted from “Kids’ Epiphany”)

A sweet 14 year old girl took her own life last week in my home town. This tribute was published, with Brielle’s picture: “… due to bullying and depression. Although I do not personally know her, this affects me greatly as it should any parent. She could be my child, she could be your child. She had a loving family and extended family. But, her grief from being bullied was just too strong. Words hurt. Actions hurt. Let’s all stand up for our children when enough is enough. Brielle was an organ donor and her heart went to a 10 year old little girl. What a precious gift she gave to others.”

Brielle was beautiful. She had the warmest, most genuine smile. Even in her picture, you can see the glow and spark in her eyes. You knew this young lady was a good person, and that she was so full of life. Snuffed out at fourteen. Why? I didn’t know Brielle, but her death hit me. Hard. Then Sean.

Too many kids carry around unreal baggage, some of adult origin, some peer-created. In either case, it takes a lot of time and effort and pain to break an innocent child’s spirit. Why aren’t we on high alert, why can’t we see and accept our immense responsibility? Nothing is more important. Why we don’t take our stewardship of their fragile spirits seriously is a tragedy, an unforgivable sin.

Our kids’ safety and a lifetime’s worth of emotional well-being, even their lives, are at risk. I’m in small-town Iowa. We’re laid back, pretty well-grounded. Too many young people are committing suicide. One is too many, and we’re way beyond one. It’s overwhelming, can’t allow it to become numbing.

From The Activist’s Survival Manual: Pebbles

I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do.

So I’ll leave it up to you. (Alvin Lee and Ten Years After, 1970)

I’m 63 and I’m still searching for the right way to make a meaningful contribution toward saving the world. My long-time prime directive: you must tend to people issues and needs, or you won’t stand a chance of effectively resolving “thing” problems. But oh, those people issues—lots to do. We’re a mess.

The One Pond, One Pebble principle is a survival tactic that first emerged out of the frustration of not making enough progress on saving the world. Lesson learned: if you can’t budge a boulder much less heave it in the ocean, you gain nothing but pain and frustration. It’s all about fully utilizing capabilities by right-sizing, right focus and pebbles. I looked at my spheres of influence where I had a little realistic credibility. I right-sized my efforts by assessing feasibility and impact, then started dropping the right little pebbles into the right ponds one at a time, making them count.

Even little pebbles can make an impressive disturbance on a pond’s mirror surface. As the ripples spread outward, you lose track of their journey. It’s not supposed to be an ego thing anyway. You “know” your ripples may be traveling great distances, probably washing over other people who may or may not be influenced to drop their own pebbles into their own ponds where they may have an impact.

It Starts With Me—one pond, one pebble within my circle of influence and credibility. Tiny ripples from my pebbles will eventually join up and overlap with ripples from others until the smooth surface of the pond is in constant motion, unrecognizable compared to the mirrored surface it once was. Who knows how far the ripples will go, how many other pebbles will be dropped in other ponds by other people?

That’s the real rush of this influence thing. You just don’t know. We each have an arsenal of pebbles at our disposal once we become more aware of our capability and capacity, and we assess the feasibility and impact of alternative actions. Then it’s one pebble at a time dropped into one pond, and we can only trust that we are truly making a meaningful difference.

Outbreak!

Norms, values, high engagement, and social-emotional well-being are all contagious for better or for worse, spread by close association. You catch the virus from others just as you can be a carrier yourself who can infect others. Groups, organizations, even society are as susceptible to the virus as individuals.

If I’m highly engaged at work, I’m likely to also be engaged at home and in my community. My ripples wash over others, even unknown people. The virus starts with my one pebble rippling one pond. The outbreak of pebble-dropping by those I infect and their resulting ripples gain momentum and speed.

No immunity, no known antidote. My kind of pandemic!

Closing Thoughts

We’re too often unknowingly coerced into recklessly pursuing more and more “things” at any cost, while we juggle the demands of an endless list of urgent to-do’s. We’ve forgotten what it means to be human, paying a high price. When values and norms die problems crop up—unethical / illegal behavior, a myriad list of significant social issues, rudeness and other variations of treating each other like crap.

Example: bullying, a.k.a. harassment, is a systemic social issue that needs systemic action. There isn’t that much difference between kids’ and adults’ bully behavior. So, why not learn from and with each other? Why not all community stakeholders learning the same principles together, setting the same behavioral expectations, then holding each others’ feet to the fire?

Random Musings….

Humans are by nature caring, compassionate, social / tribal. Bad behaviors are learned, and our toxic lifestyle and sick society are artificial creations; they are unnatural and incredibly destructive;

Kids (big people too!) need to know they matter, that they make a difference in the world. People need purpose, vision, values and a community built on caring and compassion. We suck at that;

Purpose, meaning, values, ethics cannot be legislated or otherwise mandated. All we can do is provide opportunities for self-discovery;

So, where to start restoring our humanity? With young people? There’s plenty of rework to do with big kids too. Focus on kids in school, or adults in the workplace? The family unit? One community at a time? Society? Short answer….”Yes, all”. We’re in this together, we need the same attention at the same time;

Issues and deep ideological differences have polarized us. Misleading and dis-information have us paralyzed. Combine the two=rabid advocacy of issues / ideologies with positions supported by poor information. Who and what do you believe, who and what do you trust? No wonder we’re at each others’ throats;

Education is adopting team-based learning, the workplace has wrestled with it for years. Kids of all ages need to be able to work together and to have meaningful dialogue. People prefer the familiar, shun the weird. Human behavior education would be more safely titled “teaming skills and group decision making training.” Much more acceptable to the mainstream, accomplishes the same thing.

If there was a magical intervention, it shouldn’t call out bullying, harassment or suicide prevention.  Those are all negative outcomes, all in the past. Dwelling on the negative may be counter-productive: when presented with both options, humans obsess over problems before opportunities. So, no deviant or extremes. Focus instead on discovering the good in humans, the stuff that we crave. The goals and outcomes that should drive us are well-being, happiness, satisfaction with the right modern lifestyle, surviving and even thriving in the jungle.

There are plenty of social-emotional learning approaches out there. What is the best way to get the right stuff introduced where it needs to be? We need to reach more than just young people. How?

There’s a huge need for humanity to get back in touch with itself, for us to reconnect with each other as human beings, up-close and personal…and to get back in touch with our individual spiritual selves. Technology numbs us. We’re desensitized, incapable of caring or compassion. We’re calculating, callous, cold. Humans are tribal, social creatures. We need community, we need each other. And the further we scratch and claw ourselves up the techno ladder the further we backslide down the social evolutionary ladder. Most of the animal world shows more compassion than we do, even toward other species.

We all need people with common purpose, to live our lives with others who share the same core human values.

Stupid me, this is my chosen mission and I could sure use some advice on right-sizing this effort and setting smart goals. Also, a few visionaries to put their behinds into that big old lever we need to move this world back into a sane and sustainable orbit.

For Brielle Christina April 25, 2001 – March 9, 2016.

And for Sean and the other Lost Kids, and for the Lost Adults too.

All Work and No Play, Per Gray

MUST read this piece first to play along: Instead of “Job Creation,” How About Less Work? Increased automation has not reduced our workload. Why not? What if it did? Posted Nov 26, 2016 Peter Gray

This is such a utopian view of a “what if” future perfect that most sane and logical people immediately pooh-pooh it. That’s why I like it. Most of the “we can’t because” boo-birds bring up are excuses, not reasons. But it does take some incredibly visionary thinking to see the possibilities. And it will take some serious work toward big changes to seize the big opportunities.
Gray traces our devolution from hunter-gatherers to beasts of burden serving the 20th century economic model, through the ever-evolving current reality and re-birth where a hunter-gatherer society of child-like play may make sense again.

So, what’s wrong with work?

Start with the disappearing concept of “adding value”. Value to what? Value used to be defined as a product or service that someone would be willing to pay for. But “stuff of value” is more and more produced with high-efficiency automation and very little human labor. What good are we if we aren’t kept busy making or doing value-adding “stuff”?

People must still work for a paycheck to support their families, right? A new generation of work has come along—IT, bottom feeder leisure industry (computer-based games, home entertainment… most folks can’t afford high-end diversions), service jobs (root word: “serve” as in subservient). Financial and insurance sectors have huge numbers of people doing administrivial work—collecting and analyzing mountains of data, creating and issuing all kinds of reports for unknown “users” who immediately delete the work, pushing all kinds of non value-adding info that is intended to help manage something somewhere that actually has “value”. But what value does money and information by itself have? It’s the use of those things that adds value. Armies of other administrators’ existence is somewhat justified because it takes an army to make sense of inefficiencies, disorganization and an overkill of rules and regulations, and it takes a badgillion customer service reps working 24 / 7 trying to keep customers from becoming mass murderers because of those inefficiencies. (why am I thinking “Idiocracy”?)

Huge corporate law firms with huge staffs help huge corporations get away with working huge loopholes in the system to make huge profits so they can pay huge legal fees. The whole loop exists to enable generating non-product with no value. Another army—hired hitmen, lobbyists whose purpose is to grease gears and palms so all that artificial non-value is easier to generate and hoard. A famous longhaired progressive activist once chased money-changers out of the temple. We need another. Oh, just one more army: market researchers, the advertising industry and feet-on-the-street (and cyberspace) sales folks hell-bent on manipulating markets (people!) and packaging and selling non-value stuff.

One of the fads of the process improvement world was “customer focus”–identify customers and what was important to them—their expectations, needs and wants. Then do what’s needed to meet those criteria. The idea was that it would make workers more conscious of what they were doing if there was a real person at the end of their process chain. But what if there was no real person at the end of the chain? Or what if the customer really didn’t care about what you produced, but they had simply been conditioned to buy, buy, buy anyway?

Too many working adults are stuck in a job they can clearly see has no real value in furthering the greater social good, or impacting the grand scheme of things in any way. Work with no purpose. But humans need purpose, need meaning, need to feel they’re making a difference. When there is no purpose, it’s natural for people to get jaded, cynical, uncaring, worn down, worn out, quit, die. We’re dying. What if those stuck in no-value, no-purpose work were redirected toward providing something the world wants and needs? Their individual mojo would be rejuvenated, as would the world’s.

If the Goal is Less Work and More Play, Then What Needs To Change?
Not Much–Just a Few Silly Attitudes and Minor System Tweaks

A few thoughts for starters….

  • Redefine “work” as something with real purpose that adds real value for others and / or improves the condition of the world and / or society. As technological advances and automation takes care of the menial stuff, working on further technological advances adds value because it frees up humanity’s time!
  • No more “I am my job, I am nothing without my job” thinking. Work is a means to a greater end unless a person’s work is something they enjoy that happens to make the world, society, others better. (remember the old Venn diagram on “job happiness”?) My life’s work is to eliminate violence and bullying by championing social-emotional development.
  • Rethink and expand the meaning of “value” from being only a thing / material $$$ transaction-driven concept. Social value and artistic / aesthetic value, environmental and ecological value!
  • Redesign the monetary distribution model of “work 40 hours (or more) to earn your paycheck”. Why does 40+ hours of “work” constitute “full-time employment” anyway?
    There’s not enough meaningful work to go around, because our priority and our passion is profit-generating work. But there’s tons of meaningful “work” opportunities– community, social, environmental, infrastructure things needing attention. Engage people in doing good things, and pay them accordingly. While we’re at it, reinvent “pay”. Money has no value on its own but we literally kill ourselves and others over it. Broader: “currency” is something that is used as a medium of exchange. Exchange of what, for what?
  • Redefine “affluence” from having a lot of stuff for its own sake, to having what you need to be happy…how about “sufficience?” Move past the mindless pursuit of a high standard of living and focus on quality of life instead, starting with defining the individual’s values-based vision of “fulfilled” then right-sizing needs accordingly. Prerequisite: redefine what level of “success” is socially acceptable. So it comes down to an individual values and social perception shift;
  • Rethink brick-in-the wall forced education and the standard curriculum that makes school labor –tedious, compulsory work. Learning should be fun, should come naturally. Same with work;
  • Ditch crass capitalism and profit for its own sake. Demote the 1% and elevate the 99%.
    Scrap our material and transaction-based economy and the norms that go with it, norms like “work hard, get paid, get lots of stuff, support family, be a prolific provider”. Break the trance-the marketing / advertising-driven thirst for conspicuous consumption, material affluence, accumulating stuff that has no real value (see Jagger Consulting’s “Satisfaction” piece);
  • Re-invent corporate entities with the sole purpose of generating profit for investors, corporations with no value-adding meaning justifying their existence! OOPS, need to re-think investors and the investments industry, and making money playing “the market”. There’s those money-changers again! Thinking out loud: how about a reinvestment tax credit, investing in and diverting corporate profits to an approved fund to be used for the greater good?
  • Reinvent government by the people, for the people with people and planet as top priorities;
    Bring back the institutions of Santa Claus and the tooth fairy…

This sound like capitalism must go. I agree, partially—capitalism in its current form is destructive. Money is OK, money does no evil. What people do or don’t do with it is the issue. Let’s get our really smart business people and economists busy reinventing capitalism!)

Gray closes with a challenge: So, instead of trying so hard to preserve work, why don’t we solve the distribution problem (getting paid for a 40hr week as the only way to do things), cut way back on work, and allow ourselves to play?
Good question.

WHAT’S YOUR ANSWER?

“Solving the distribution problem” isn’t a cakewalk and there’s lots of other stuff that needs to happen too. I’ve shared my quick take of what needs to change just for starters. What’s missing? And how in the world are we going to do all that? Think about these bullets as goal statements then brainstorm: “what’s it gonna take?” And remember, one of the ground rules of brainstorming is “never say it can’t be done.”

(BONUS) Sneak Peek at Klitgaard: a look at basically the same thinking, slightly different angle.

Many people, affluent and poor, lead hectic and harried lives, struggling at jobs devoid of meaning and often socially and environmentally counterproductive (such as weapons manufacture, hydraulic fracturing, or financial speculation) in order to command a paycheck. In a sustainable society, work should be meaningful as well as steady and productive. Meaningful work allows people to unite their heads, their hands, and their hearts. People should have a say in the design of what they make or do, a variety of challenging tasks, and the opportunity for self-direction.
Unfortunately, the logic of capital accumulation has created work that is much the opposite—routine, without mental exercise, let alone purpose or joy—all in the name of producing more goods and services at ever-lower cost.
The Struggle for Meaningful Work

UPDATE: Johan sent a graphic with his reply (below). Since pics cannot be included in replies here it is! I’d like to suggest that on the “Child” side “work” and “play” are more overlapping and very possibly concurrent!

Johan Work and Play

 

Live Long and Prosper-A Vulcan History Lesson

Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos using reason as our guide.” – T’Plana-Hath, Matron of Vulcan Philosophy

Vulcan history is a long journey from ancient civil wars that nearly destroyed Vulcan, to their embracing of logic through the teachings of Surak. Why did Spock’s home planet Vulcan turn its back on emotions in deference to logic?

Vulcans were once barbaric, war-like and “nearly killing themselves off with their own passions“. As half-human Spock put it “Vulcan, like Earth, had its aggressive, colonizing period; savage even by Earth standards. There was a time in the past when we were an extremely violent race. We nearly destroyed ourselves. Paranoia and homicidal rage were common.” A small group of early Vulcans, reported to be liberals, began to mentally train themselves to suppress their emotions.

None too soon. Vulcan was tearing itself apart. Rampant emotions and a hostile warrior culture led to many widespread wars using terrible weapons like atomic bombs and the Stone of Gol. But the philosopher Surak made a radical proposition: lead a life governed by logic rather than emotion. His teachings showed Vulcans a path towards peace and they quickly spread. Spock reflected on the shift to logic: “We were once wildly emotional, committed to irrationally opposing points of view, leading, of course, to death and destruction. Only the discipline of logic saved my planet from extinction.

Vulcans are not natural paragons of emotionless logic. They are actually far too emotional for their own good. Their natural disposition is quite earthly human: erratic, volatile and quick to anger. So they go to great lengths to suppress their natural feelings with disciplined mind control. The Vulcan embracing of logic includes an iron discipline about feelings – an almost Buddhist extermination of the ego, freeing the person from illogical emotional impulses.

Spock was only half-Vulcan, the offspring of a human schoolteacher and a Vulcan father. This created a deep, ongoing and powerful conflict between logic and emotion, described by Earth counterpart Leonard Nimoy as … “struggling to maintain a Vulcan attitude, a Vulcan philosophical posture and a Vulcan logic, opposing what was fighting him internally, which was human emotion.”

Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most… human. (Kirk’s eulogy for Spock)

The Vulcan culture survived and thrived. End of history lesson.

(Two sources for Vulcan history: http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Vulcan_history  and http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/the-vulcan-way-how-to-live-long-and-prosper-1672660.html

Is There a Lesson?

Earth is embroiled in civilization-threatening conflict. The dark side of our emotional human nature is becoming more and more dominant with greed, power-grabbing, corruption, indifference to others, brutal killings, senseless wars that are somehow always logically or morally justified.

But the Vulcan civilization survived a similar crisis and thrived. What can we learn from our distant homo sapiens cousins? Must we also banish emotions in deference to logic?

Earth’s humans face a dual threat: 1) rampant emotions and whacked out values fueling phobias and paranoia, hatred, bigotry, “me first” nationalism; and 2) blunt-force logic: cold, calculating, it’s-only-business, inhuman disregard for others in deference to profit, possessions  and power.

There’s a significant difference between Earth’s and Vulcan’s strain of homo sapiens. Our issue is more complex than Vulcans faced. Earth’s science community has determined that social-emotional attributes are what makes Earth humans human. Our emotional, impulsive, intuitive side is our redeeming quality, but it may also become our downfall.

Human emotion is as essential to our survival as the physical environment. We thrive on intangibles like sense of purpose, living by our values, healthy personal relationships, belonging / being part of a strong community. As social well-being has been found to intertwine with physical well-being these are critical to sustaining the species. It’s also been verified that social-emotional well-being drives achievement and success, as well as physical health and longevity.

But there’s a down side to strong emotions rooted in the way the brain and body interact.

Emotional input or negative experiences trigger a highly sensitized involuntary fear response that is so strong it can block out logical thought. These negative external stimuli can trigger brain trauma which causes the involuntary reactions due to our “fight or flee” instinct.  A traumatized brain can be a tired, hungry, worried, rejected, or detached brain which causes a person to have feelings of isolation, worry, angst, and fear.

When a threat, either real or perceived, is felt the brain and body both prioritize survival. Both go through changes to enable rapid scanning for physical warning signs and emotional signals of unsafe conditions.  We react to signals physiologically, our irritated limbic system increases blood pressure, heart rate, and respiration with an excessive secretion of stimuli—cortisol and adrenaline—pumping through our bodies.

We’ve long known about the potential physical damage from stress responses. Chronic activation of this fear response can damage parts of the brain as well as the body due to elevated stress levels. While humans are naturally social creatures that thrive on and crave social connection and attachment to others, if we encounter physical or emotional danger problem solving, reflection, and emotional regulation are compromised and diminished.

(Brain theory information is from Brains in Pain Cannot Learn! )

So, What’s a Human To Do?

For humans, our emotions are a good thing. We cannot survive without them. But an over-leveraged strength can become a weakness. So, how do we embrace our emotional strengths while keeping them in check? Mindfulness and meditation, even at a very basic level, can do wonders. So can rediscovering our true selves (purpose values, norms, belonging…). But body and mind are one system. So don’t forget the bean sprouts. And sensible exercise too. It’s not all esoteric pixie dust.

Humanity’s struggle to harness our emotions is a matter of species survival. Thankfully, there is a broad and potentially powerful awakening underway. Live long and prosper ….indeed! As Spock would exclaim, with one pointed eyebrow raised for added emphasis…. “Fascinating!”